Of Scabs and Old Wounds

The making of this sequel is like the opening of old wounds: Painful and unnecessary.

I was searching for the appropriate review for Tayong Dalawa sa Huling Buwan ng Taon, and found this piece written by Vinz Lamorena, Associate Editor in alike(dot)com(dot)ph. I agreed with some of the parts of that review, and disagreed with other parts, but the statement above was what seemed to describe my personal take on the film (thank you, Vinz Lamorena!)

photo credits: tba.ph

I only watched the film out of curiosity. I saw Ang Kwento Nating Dalawa 5 years ago, so naturally, I was drawn to see the sequel. Good thing I didn't spend much on it. You can say I was just there for the experience.

First, I got to experience the saltiest popcorn I have ever tasted. It was so salty that I thought I would get a hypertensive attack inside the cinema! Don't get me wrong. I love watching movies there, and I would never give up watching movies in that place. But now I know better — I would never order popcorn from their snack bar again!

Second, watching TDsHBT in that movie house was like watching a teleserye with my Lola. People were reacting violently the first time Sam & Issa saw each other again at the Ayala Triangle, and then again when they exchanged brief text messages on that same evening. And then again when they were at a common friend's barber shop anniversary. And yet again when they met at the bookstore and when they ate together at the paresan.

Surprisingly, all hell did not break loose when they started unearthing their hurts in noisy Escolta. The movie house was hushed, like when everyone falls silent when there are 2 people screaming invectives at each other. (Wait... Sam & Issa were hurling accusations at each other in that scene!)

And as I sat there observing the movie goers around me while taking in the scenes in the film, I realized, yes, this is as real as it gets. Some will sympathize (or empathize) with the 4 main characters in the film, while others won't. I myself couldn't relate to any of them. Not because I never experienced having and being loved, and being hurt, but because (trite as it may sound to some), I have learned the art of letting go.

That scene when Sam & Issa both exploded in front of El Hogar — that was like a volcano waiting to erupt. Five years apart may have changed them externally, but those 5 years didn't change what was inside. All the unspoken words and pent up emotions couldn't wait to be released, and the moment they were spewed out, they hurt like hell and even hurt those whom they love.

People have different ways of dealing with the past. I'm not saying that my way is better, but it works for me. Dealing with disturbances early on, until these disturbances are not disturbances anymore, is not rocket science. In my simple mind, I ask God what lesson He wants me to learn, and pray that I do learn it. I also tell God to help me deal with it. "Lord, bahala ka na..." has been my constant sigh whenever disturbances creep in. 

When I was a young girl, I always came home with a scratch on my knee or wounds on my arms and legs after playing outside. My mom would patiently treat these wounds daily, until scabs develop over them. Sometimes, I would inadvertently scratch the scab and open the old wound. Naturally, the wound would bleed once again, and my mom would again treat it, this time scolding me for peeling the scab away. Why? Because I did not allow the wound to heal.

I did not expect the sequel to be a film about healing. Realistically, most people do not deal with old wounds the way I do. Tayong Dalawa sa Huling Buwan ng Taon's appeal is its realism, it's ability to mirror what the audience experience, or may have experienced, sometime in their lives. 

Deep inside, I asked, "Hindi na ba ako normal? Bakit hindi ako maka-relate?" Then I realized, "Hindi na nga... pero hindi ibig sabihin abnormal ako." Perhaps it meant I have grown up and know better than to scratch a scab and open an old wound...