GOD, I DON'T UNDERSTAND

My countdown starts tomorrow. What I'm counting down about, I have yet to find out.

See, I'm trying to find out what God wants me to do for the next 12 months. And for the past 9 days, He has been sending me random messages. Actually, they feel more like mixed signals. Like, for the last three days, the song Be It Unto Me had been ringing in my head. And then this afternoon, a long time family friend had hinted how much he liked me. I was like, "Why didn't you say so?!" But it's too late now. He got hitched last summer, leaving me perplexed. (I'm sorry. I just couldn't understand why he never told me anything before he got married. Men!!!)

So now I sit here, wondering. Truth is, I have been asking God since 5:00 this afternoon the million-dollar question: WHY, GOD?

Why did he have to tell me today, of all days? And why did he have to tell me in the first place? He's married, and there's nothing he (nor I) can do about it. I really hate this.

I don't know if I could sleep at all tonight.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

MUSINGS OF A SOMETHING, SOMETHING

Image
When I was in fourth grade, I knew what I wanted to be. A journalist. During summer vacation, I remember tearing away pages in my notebook that have been written on and keeping the blank ones. Then I would write stories on the blank pages. I don’t remember what stories I have written, but I do remember showing them to my dad. That was when he said, “ Anak , I think you’re going to be a journalist when you grow up.” In high school, my Tita Mary gave me a sketch pad. It was just a bunch of bond paper with green covers done in perfect binding. But I treasured that sketch pad. I would bring it to school every day, and while waiting for the teacher to arrive, I would draw my favorite cartoon characters on it. Sometimes, when the school bus was late, that sketch pad kept me busy. I must say I did some pretty neat pictures on that sketch pad, so I said to myself, “Maybe I could become an artist!” But that didn’t happen after high school. I went to the State University for a degre...
Read more

Facing vs. Choosing My Fears

Image
It's 5:30am, I'm looking at my bike, thinking, "Should I really take this to Ortigas today?" Us girls! I'm a biker. Not the hardcore bike-to-work kind, but more of a weekend warrior. I've done city cycling, sometimes with a group, most of the time alone. I really want to take my bike to work, but I haven't gathered enough guts to actually do it. Why? I'm scared. Of what? Oh, just the buses, and trucks, and SUVs that bully you (yes, I've been bullied before).
Read more

Journeying Through Life on Two Wheels

Image
Just recently, I was reintroduced to cycling. Two bully friends/ brothers (you know who you are!) pressured me to try riding out one evening, and since then, I was hooked! My first ride You know who you are! Next thing I knew, I had Pinky Pop (and owed someone some money because he was the one who egged me to buy that pink foldie), plus the basic biking paraphernalia needed so I would be allowed to ride.
Read more