Discern, Decide, Communicate, Commit

I was talking with some girls from the Mission House one night about making decisions and standing by them.  How did we get to this profound exchange of ideas?  It all started with Sr. Mary Nierre's no-holds-barred pronouncement: "The problem with you young people is that you are afraid to make decisions and make others decide for you!  When I was 17, I already knew I wanted to be a nun.  You should decide.  Once you do, stand by your decisions, even if it seems to be the wrong one."  In Tagalog, panindigan mo yung desisyon mo!


As some of those closest to me may know, I am in a 40-week gestation period.  It started last February and will commence in November, my birth month, the month of my rebirth, hopefully.  August is the last month of my second trimester.  Next month, or should I say in 21 days, my final trimester begins.  And like an expectant mother, I still do not know what to expect.  I am anxious about what the point of this whole exercise would be.

But with Sr. Mary's words hovering above my head in big, bold letters, I guess my ultimate goal for this... journey... is to once and for all make the decision.  But what decision?  I'm not through with my discernment yet.  Or am I?  Maybe I'm nearing the end of the discernment process.  Could the 9th month be the end of the discernment and the beginning of the decision-making?

And when that decision has been made, what now?  I still have to fulfill the next half of the equation: communicate and commit.  And this has made me come to the conclusion that I need someone to do this with.  This couldn't be done alone.  I need a sounding board, someone who will walk me through all this.  But who?  Lord, send me this Who.

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