grip of grace

The first time I saw this cartoon, I laughed out loud. Why? Because 1) I was interested in a younger guy at that time, and 2) I imagined myself asking the same "What?" question with the same expression written on my face. That was four years ago. Age was such a big deal for me, and an age difference of more than five years made me queasy. No wonder I'm still single! Maybe... or maybe not. But looking back now, I can almost hear God laughing out loud. (Boy, does He have a weird sense of humor!) Because at this point of my life, the only guys I encounter are younger than I am by five years (or more). Of course there are older guys too, but I would have to wait for them to become widowers first. Are you getting my point? What I'm trying to drive at is, it turns out that one of my worst queasiness would dangle right in front of my face. Oh, I can almost see God slapping His knee as He doubles up guffawing. Because today, He slams into my face the fact that age s

Is it just me? Or is it a coincidence that Pinoy Fear Factor pilots on my birthdate? I think the next 365 days are the face-my-fears days of my life. Today being my 39th birthday, I believe the Lord is trying to tell me something. What that something is, I do not know yet. As soon as I find out, I'll share with you what it is. But as it is right now, I'll just content myself with listening to Corrine May (thanks to my friend Allen for introducing her to me), reading a special reflection book which I believe will guide me to finding out what God has in store for me this year, and embracing my alone-ness (take note: alone , not lonely ). I must admit, sitting in front of my computer typing (or writing on my nice new journal) without any distractions makes my mind churn. And instantly, I am able to translate my thoughts into reflection pieces which I know will help me figure out what I need to figure out this year. So expect a few more blogs from me beginning today. And exp

My countdown starts tomorrow. What I'm counting down about, I have yet to find out. See, I'm trying to find out what God wants me to do for the next 12 months. And for the past 9 days, He has been sending me random messages. Actually, they feel more like mixed signals. Like, for the last three days, the song Be It Unto Me had been ringing in my head. And then this afternoon, a long time family friend had hinted how much he liked me. I was like, "Why didn't you say so?!" But it's too late now. He got hitched last summer, leaving me perplexed. (I'm sorry. I just couldn't understand why he never told me anything before he got married. Men!!!) So now I sit here, wondering. Truth is, I have been asking God since 5:00 this afternoon the million-dollar question: WHY, GOD? Why did he have to tell me today, of all days? And why did he have to tell me in the first place? He's married, and there's nothing he (nor I) can do about it. I real