GOD, I DON'T UNDERSTAND

My countdown starts tomorrow. What I'm counting down about, I have yet to find out.

See, I'm trying to find out what God wants me to do for the next 12 months. And for the past 9 days, He has been sending me random messages. Actually, they feel more like mixed signals. Like, for the last three days, the song Be It Unto Me had been ringing in my head. And then this afternoon, a long time family friend had hinted how much he liked me. I was like, "Why didn't you say so?!" But it's too late now. He got hitched last summer, leaving me perplexed. (I'm sorry. I just couldn't understand why he never told me anything before he got married. Men!!!)

So now I sit here, wondering. Truth is, I have been asking God since 5:00 this afternoon the million-dollar question: WHY, GOD?

Why did he have to tell me today, of all days? And why did he have to tell me in the first place? He's married, and there's nothing he (nor I) can do about it. I really hate this.

I don't know if I could sleep at all tonight.

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