grip of grace

I am going through an idling time right now.  You know, like a car stuck in traffic with the engine running.  Msgr. Tuazon of St. Vincent calls this kairos , a Greek reference for time described as "a moment of undetermined period in which something special happens."  It is a period which requires a tremendous amount of hope, faith and love within a person, so he or she could actually go through kairos .

I was talking with some girls from the Mission House one night about making decisions and standing by them.  How did we get to this profound exchange of ideas?  It all started with Sr. Mary Nierre's no-holds-barred pronouncement: "The problem with you young people is that you are afraid to make decisions and make others decide for you!  When I was 17, I already knew I wanted to be a nun.  You should decide.  Once you do, stand by your decisions, even if it seems to be the wrong one."  In Tagalog, panindigan mo yung desisyon mo!

…He makes sure He opens a floodgate and pours out every possible blessing you could hold in your outstretched arms. Why do I say this?  Because in a matter of days, God has again managed to shower me with gifts—so much that I need a battalion of angels to help me carry them home! Last Thursday, April 29 th , at around mid-morning, a Tito whom I had sent my portfolio to, called me and asked me to work for him part time in his printing press.  I… was… dumbfounded.  I didn’t think he’d be interested in my services anymore.  But he is, and although it’ll be only on a weekend basis, I am literally jumping up and down in excitement!  At last, I’ll be back in the publishing industry!

No, the number above more than signifies how old I am.  It signifies a period of "rebirth" for me.  You see, the number 40 is very significant in the Bible.  It connotes purification, a time of preparation, a period of completion. Jesus went to the desert for 40 days before He embarked on His mission.  A woman goes through 40 weeks of gestation and gives birth to new life.  The Israelites wandered in the dessert for 40 years before they reached the promised land. So you see what the number 40 means to me?  Some say life begins at 40, and I think I believe them.  Because from February to November of this year, I will be going through a 40-week exercise that I believe will change the course of my life forever.  I started last February 10.  The exercise will commence on November 10, my birth date.  I am excited about God's revelations.  I have asked my friends to pray for me and with me as I go through this "gestation period". I ...

I just finished reading Passion & Purity by Elisabeth Elliot. And that book discusses so much about waiting, not in vain but actively! And I really admire the honesty of Jim Elliot about he felt about "Bett" as he fondly called her. And instead of giving in to his raging hormones, he threw his energy to doing what God wants him to do at that time. And when His perfect time came, he "demonstrated" his love for Bett by declaring his love finally and asking her to marry him. In this day & age when people opt to go "instant" than to wait on the Lord, Elizabeth & Jim Elliot's love story, which they placed under the lordship of Jesus, should be every single person's standard.

Have you ever had one of those days which seemed to start quite ordinarily, only to find out that the day would be a day of surprises? It all started with my phone alarm going off at 6:00 AM on September 26, 2009. It was a Saturday, so why was I up so early? I was supposed to have a bazaar the following day. I wanted to get my errands done early for that bazaar.

GMANews.TV - Tragedy and triumph: A Ninoy-Cory interactive timeline 1954-2009 - Nation - Official Website of GMA News and Public Affairs - Latest Philippine News Shared via AddThis

Your Result: Choleric (Fire) You enjoy socializing with friends and are very creative.  You are often the leader or organizer of events, parties or meetings between friends. Your energy can fire-up events and people but you can also burn-up those around you with your intensity.

I've been reading my past blogs, and I noticed that they haven't been very happy blogs. Well, at least some of them aren't. And so I began to examine myself. Have I really been that cranky these past few months?

I am not myself today.  Understandably, as I just came from a bout with the flu.  Add to that the incessant pouring of Isang 's rain.  Or maybe the rains were just the last straw.  I don't know.  I have been feeling kinda queasy lately.  Sometimes I wonder if it was from the non-stop Gilmore Girls marathons.  That show brings out the... hmmm, what does it bring out, anyway?

Hatinggabi na, nasa opisina pa ako. Grabe na 'to, di ko alam kung tama pa ba itong ginagawa ko. Ilang gabi na akong nag-o-overtime sa opisina. Okay sana s'ya kasi mas malaki ang sweldo ko. Kaya lang, ang daming na-co-compromise na mga bagay. Parang hindi yata worth it.

I feel bad. About what? That's the problem. I don't know what I feel bad about. You know how it feels when you're just not yourself, and that everything around you seems to be ganging up against you? Or that sinking feeling of having no friends to talk to? Especially during times when you really, really need to talk to someone...

These women are the reasons why my spiritual life is afloat.  My elders, who never tire of pushing me to the limit, of lifting up my spirit whenever I feel like giving up, and who just simply inspire me by their very lives.  And of course, my sisters in the household, my friends, my "mirrors" who continue to show me my beauty as well as the monsters within me, who love me despite my weaknesses, and who cheer me on in moments of strength. I shall forever cherish this journey called life.  Because I know that you are all a part of it.  Because in the end, I know, we will be each other's cheering squad, each other's welcoming committee when we at last are called Home. HER 1 of XFC May 17 & 18, 2008 Shared via AddThis

Sa totoo lang, dapat masaya ako.  Kasi isa na namang boksingero ang pinabagsak ng Pambansang Kamao.  Pero hindi eh.  Matapos kong panoorin sa youtube ang laban ni Pacqiuiao at ni Hatton ngayon, biglang sumama ang pakiramdam ko.  (Oo, dear readers.  Ako lang 'ata sa buong mundo ang hindi nakapanood ng boksing kahapon.  Narinig ko sa TV ng kapitbahay ang mga pangyayari, pero hindi nakita ng dalawang mata ko... ngayon lang.)

"Pay no attention to how tall or handsome he is... because I do not judge as people judge.  They look at the outward appearance, but I look at the heart..."  --1 Samuel 16:7 TDH - tall, dark & handsome 3 Ms - matandang mayaman, malapit nang mamatay 3 Cs - condo, car, cash Through the years, it seems that the criteria of what women look for a man change with the times.  But then, is there really such a man who would possess all the best characteristics ideal for a mate?  I myself have come up with a list of non-negotiable traits that I would want in a potential GG (God's gift).  I must have written down 2 dozen attributes!  And why not?  I am God's daughter and I deserve only the best, don't I? However, I came to realize that God isn't going to take my list, study it carefully, and create a new person from scratch just so He could give me His best.  And so through prayers, Scripture guidance and discernment, i have narrowed down my non-negotiable wish li...

During our chapter prayer meeting last week, our speaker talked about Jesus being the ultimate expression of love, about God being love to the core. After the talk, she asked us to write a love letter to Jesus. At first, I didn't feel like writing anything. I mean, what was I supposed to say? I didn't want my letter to sound too poetic. But after a moment of silence, my pen touched paper, I got carried away and came up with this:

I don’t know if anyone still uses the word “senti” (short for sentimental).   It was kinda popular during the late ‘90s.   Ngayon ‘ata “emo” na ang uso, ‘no ? Anyway, I was sick last weekend.   I rarely get sick, but when I do, it’s always on a weekend.   ( Kaya nga hindi maubos ang sick leave ko eh !)   I just lay in bed all day Saturday and Sunday, surviving on a diet of congee and instant noodles ( wala akong panlasa eh ; everything was bitter to my taste!) while watching DVDs of Gilmore Girls – Season 7 and an assortment of movies.   It was while I was watching GGS7 that I had a craving for soft cinnamon rolls and pies and cakes and muffins.   But I couldn’t get out of the house, let alone buy these mouth-watering treats!   So I promised to reward myself as soon as I got well. To cut the story short, I decided to rest until today (Monday) para naman masulit ang sick leave ko .   At around 2pm, I decided to go out for lunch (congee pa rin !), a quick trip to the grocery and to...

You Are Bold and Fearless You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow. You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily. Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is. You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated. You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want. You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way! http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyournameshiddenmeaningquiz/

The first time I saw this cartoon, I laughed out loud. Why? Because 1) I was interested in a younger guy at that time, and 2) I imagined myself asking the same "What?" question with the same expression written on my face. That was four years ago. Age was such a big deal for me, and an age difference of more than five years made me queasy. No wonder I'm still single! Maybe... or maybe not. But looking back now, I can almost hear God laughing out loud. (Boy, does He have a weird sense of humor!) Because at this point of my life, the only guys I encounter are younger than I am by five years (or more). Of course there are older guys too, but I would have to wait for them to become widowers first. Are you getting my point? What I'm trying to drive at is, it turns out that one of my worst queasiness would dangle right in front of my face. Oh, I can almost see God slapping His knee as He doubles up guffawing. Because today, He slams into my face the fact that age s...

Is it just me? Or is it a coincidence that Pinoy Fear Factor pilots on my birthdate? I think the next 365 days are the face-my-fears days of my life. Today being my 39th birthday, I believe the Lord is trying to tell me something. What that something is, I do not know yet. As soon as I find out, I'll share with you what it is. But as it is right now, I'll just content myself with listening to Corrine May (thanks to my friend Allen for introducing her to me), reading a special reflection book which I believe will guide me to finding out what God has in store for me this year, and embracing my alone-ness (take note: alone , not lonely ). I must admit, sitting in front of my computer typing (or writing on my nice new journal) without any distractions makes my mind churn. And instantly, I am able to translate my thoughts into reflection pieces which I know will help me figure out what I need to figure out this year. So expect a few more blogs from me beginning today. And exp...