grip of grace

Your Result: Choleric (Fire) You enjoy socializing with friends and are very creative.  You are often the leader or organizer of events, parties or meetings between friends. Your energy can fire-up events and people but you can also burn-up those around you with your intensity.

I've been reading my past blogs, and I noticed that they haven't been very happy blogs. Well, at least some of them aren't. And so I began to examine myself. Have I really been that cranky these past few months?

I am not myself today.  Understandably, as I just came from a bout with the flu.  Add to that the incessant pouring of Isang 's rain.  Or maybe the rains were just the last straw.  I don't know.  I have been feeling kinda queasy lately.  Sometimes I wonder if it was from the non-stop Gilmore Girls marathons.  That show brings out the... hmmm, what does it bring out, anyway?

Hatinggabi na, nasa opisina pa ako. Grabe na 'to, di ko alam kung tama pa ba itong ginagawa ko. Ilang gabi na akong nag-o-overtime sa opisina. Okay sana s'ya kasi mas malaki ang sweldo ko. Kaya lang, ang daming na-co-compromise na mga bagay. Parang hindi yata worth it.

I feel bad. About what? That's the problem. I don't know what I feel bad about. You know how it feels when you're just not yourself, and that everything around you seems to be ganging up against you? Or that sinking feeling of having no friends to talk to? Especially during times when you really, really need to talk to someone...

These women are the reasons why my spiritual life is afloat.  My elders, who never tire of pushing me to the limit, of lifting up my spirit whenever I feel like giving up, and who just simply inspire me by their very lives.  And of course, my sisters in the household, my friends, my "mirrors" who continue to show me my beauty as well as the monsters within me, who love me despite my weaknesses, and who cheer me on in moments of strength. I shall forever cherish this journey called life.  Because I know that you are all a part of it.  Because in the end, I know, we will be each other's cheering squad, each other's welcoming committee when we at last are called Home. HER 1 of XFC May 17 & 18, 2008 Shared via AddThis

Sa totoo lang, dapat masaya ako.  Kasi isa na namang boksingero ang pinabagsak ng Pambansang Kamao.  Pero hindi eh.  Matapos kong panoorin sa youtube ang laban ni Pacqiuiao at ni Hatton ngayon, biglang sumama ang pakiramdam ko.  (Oo, dear readers.  Ako lang 'ata sa buong mundo ang hindi nakapanood ng boksing kahapon.  Narinig ko sa TV ng kapitbahay ang mga pangyayari, pero hindi nakita ng dalawang mata ko... ngayon lang.)

"Pay no attention to how tall or handsome he is... because I do not judge as people judge.  They look at the outward appearance, but I look at the heart..."  --1 Samuel 16:7 TDH - tall, dark & handsome 3 Ms - matandang mayaman, malapit nang mamatay 3 Cs - condo, car, cash Through the years, it seems that the criteria of what women look for a man change with the times.  But then, is there really such a man who would possess all the best characteristics ideal for a mate?  I myself have come up with a list of non-negotiable traits that I would want in a potential GG (God's gift).  I must have written down 2 dozen attributes!  And why not?  I am God's daughter and I deserve only the best, don't I? However, I came to realize that God isn't going to take my list, study it carefully, and create a new person from scratch just so He could give me His best.  And so through prayers, Scripture guidance and discernment, i have narrowed down my non-negotiable wish li...

During our chapter prayer meeting last week, our speaker talked about Jesus being the ultimate expression of love, about God being love to the core. After the talk, she asked us to write a love letter to Jesus. At first, I didn't feel like writing anything. I mean, what was I supposed to say? I didn't want my letter to sound too poetic. But after a moment of silence, my pen touched paper, I got carried away and came up with this:

I don’t know if anyone still uses the word “senti” (short for sentimental).   It was kinda popular during the late ‘90s.   Ngayon ‘ata “emo” na ang uso, ‘no ? Anyway, I was sick last weekend.   I rarely get sick, but when I do, it’s always on a weekend.   ( Kaya nga hindi maubos ang sick leave ko eh !)   I just lay in bed all day Saturday and Sunday, surviving on a diet of congee and instant noodles ( wala akong panlasa eh ; everything was bitter to my taste!) while watching DVDs of Gilmore Girls – Season 7 and an assortment of movies.   It was while I was watching GGS7 that I had a craving for soft cinnamon rolls and pies and cakes and muffins.   But I couldn’t get out of the house, let alone buy these mouth-watering treats!   So I promised to reward myself as soon as I got well. To cut the story short, I decided to rest until today (Monday) para naman masulit ang sick leave ko .   At around 2pm, I decided to go out for lunch (congee pa rin !), a quick trip to the grocery and to...

You Are Bold and Fearless You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow. You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily. Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is. You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated. You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want. You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way! http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyournameshiddenmeaningquiz/

The first time I saw this cartoon, I laughed out loud. Why? Because 1) I was interested in a younger guy at that time, and 2) I imagined myself asking the same "What?" question with the same expression written on my face. That was four years ago. Age was such a big deal for me, and an age difference of more than five years made me queasy. No wonder I'm still single! Maybe... or maybe not. But looking back now, I can almost hear God laughing out loud. (Boy, does He have a weird sense of humor!) Because at this point of my life, the only guys I encounter are younger than I am by five years (or more). Of course there are older guys too, but I would have to wait for them to become widowers first. Are you getting my point? What I'm trying to drive at is, it turns out that one of my worst queasiness would dangle right in front of my face. Oh, I can almost see God slapping His knee as He doubles up guffawing. Because today, He slams into my face the fact that age s...

Is it just me? Or is it a coincidence that Pinoy Fear Factor pilots on my birthdate? I think the next 365 days are the face-my-fears days of my life. Today being my 39th birthday, I believe the Lord is trying to tell me something. What that something is, I do not know yet. As soon as I find out, I'll share with you what it is. But as it is right now, I'll just content myself with listening to Corrine May (thanks to my friend Allen for introducing her to me), reading a special reflection book which I believe will guide me to finding out what God has in store for me this year, and embracing my alone-ness (take note: alone , not lonely ). I must admit, sitting in front of my computer typing (or writing on my nice new journal) without any distractions makes my mind churn. And instantly, I am able to translate my thoughts into reflection pieces which I know will help me figure out what I need to figure out this year. So expect a few more blogs from me beginning today. And exp...

My countdown starts tomorrow. What I'm counting down about, I have yet to find out. See, I'm trying to find out what God wants me to do for the next 12 months. And for the past 9 days, He has been sending me random messages. Actually, they feel more like mixed signals. Like, for the last three days, the song Be It Unto Me had been ringing in my head. And then this afternoon, a long time family friend had hinted how much he liked me. I was like, "Why didn't you say so?!" But it's too late now. He got hitched last summer, leaving me perplexed. (I'm sorry. I just couldn't understand why he never told me anything before he got married. Men!!!) So now I sit here, wondering. Truth is, I have been asking God since 5:00 this afternoon the million-dollar question: WHY, GOD? Why did he have to tell me today, of all days? And why did he have to tell me in the first place? He's married, and there's nothing he (nor I) can do about it. I real...

2007 was a year of change for me. New perspectives, new habits, new lessons learned, new apartment, new friends... I don't know why I suddenly had this urge to look back at the year that was. I'm not dying, am I? Well, at least not yet. I just have this "something" inside me that moves me this very minute, that suddenly made my life flash before me and prompted me to count my blessings and struggles and opportunities that came my way. Good grief! I must be getting old! Well, I'd like to think that I'm maturing more and more as my chronological age advances. But then again, I believe that being in the company of more mature women (and men) is the true reason. Before the year ended, I crossed-over to another ministry. I left the singles ministry I've grown to love and took a leap of faith to the next level. No, I am not yet in the couples ministry. I am now in what I'd like to call my "transition ministry" of the Handmaids of the Lord...

Last night, while staring blankly on the images moving about on TV, I suddenly had a realization—all my life, I had been taking care of people. Being the eldest among four siblings, I had been expected to look after my younger brothers and sister since the start. I remember taking the three of them to school when I was in my senior year in high school. And staying home during weekends to wash our clothes, cook our meals, clean the house, etc. After my mom died when I was in second year, I took it upon myself to take care of the family, even my dad. In college, it was the same. Although I lived away from my family, I was still the Ate (big sister) of everybody. My block mates relied on me for support—whether academically, morally, or sometimes financially. For them, I have always been the tough one, the shoulder to cry on even for one coño guy who couldn’t seem to survive the state university because he didn’t speak Tagalog. I had always been the leader, the captain of the team...

When I was in fourth grade, I knew what I wanted to be. A journalist. During summer vacation, I remember tearing away pages in my notebook that have been written on and keeping the blank ones. Then I would write stories on the blank pages. I don’t remember what stories I have written, but I do remember showing them to my dad. That was when he said, “ Anak , I think you’re going to be a journalist when you grow up.” In high school, my Tita Mary gave me a sketch pad. It was just a bunch of bond paper with green covers done in perfect binding. But I treasured that sketch pad. I would bring it to school every day, and while waiting for the teacher to arrive, I would draw my favorite cartoon characters on it. Sometimes, when the school bus was late, that sketch pad kept me busy. I must say I did some pretty neat pictures on that sketch pad, so I said to myself, “Maybe I could become an artist!” But that didn’t happen after high school. I went to the State University for a degre...

Guess what! I’m listening to Sesame Street classics as I write this blog. And I’m on a roll! Since Saturday, I had been reliving the good old Sesame Street days. I discovered YouTube.com and I searched for all my favorite SS video clips… and it definitely brought back happy memories of my childhood. See, I grew up on Sesame Street . I remember watching the stuff since I was 4 or 5 years old. I learned my alphabet and numbers and shapes and about sharing and cooperation from Sesame Street (remember the Gonk and the Giffle?). I witnessed Maria and David dating, Luis and Linda falling in love, Gordon and Susan being happily married, Kermit singing about not easy being green, Maria marrying Luis (whatever happened to David?!?), Mr. Snuffle-upagus appearing and disappearing, Super Grover not being able to fly because someone was stepping on his cape, Ernie and Bert arguing about anything, the amazing Mumford (a la peanut butter sandwiches!)… Man, I could go on and on! But through the yea...

Yub, you read id right, by title's dot a typo. By blogk isn'd riddled by typo's either. I've god a cold, that's why. I just wand you to ibagine how I speak by wriding this way. By sinuses have beed actig up for three whole days. I feel like I'b carryig a kigsize dose betweed by eyes. Id's depressig sindce I couldn't go out. I wanded do watch Superban todight but I can'd. I gotta rest. I'b goig home in a while. Id's a log weekend anyway, so I'll have plendy of tibe to sleeb.

For the past two years, I have been hooked on a not-so-typical detective series. It's called The Cat Who... Series by Lillian Jackson Braun. It's about a prize-winning crime reporter who adopted two Siamese cats--Koko and Yumyum. Together, this threesome solves mysteries. The mystery part is interesting, yes. But what keeps me glued to every page is the Siamese pair. I just love reading about how smart they are, and how fastidious cats could be. And so I decided, "I wanna get myself a Siamese!" But then again, during those two years, I had the privilege of knowing Simon. No, he's not the man of my dreams. He's a pug. A very loveable pug. His human says he's the runt of the litter, but what the hey! I still think he's adorable. And so at about the same time, I said to myself, "I have to find a pug for me!" So now, it's a toss up between getting a cat or getting a dog. And before I get to that final decision, I need to consider a few facto...